Assalamualaikum and hi :)
Salam Maulidur Rasul by the way . Rugi betul tak dapat sambut dekat masjid . Almaklumlah kita ehem-ehem . Baru dua tiga hari lepas excited nak pergi masjid sambut ramai-ramai :/ Semoga Allah swt panjangkan umur aku supaya dapat sambut lagi tahun depan .
As for yesterday, it is like a new fresh start for me to re-open my blog . Hihi still quite awkward actually . Okayyyyy back to main topic for today .
WHAT IF
- I can't be like what my parents want me to be
- I can't be a good listener to my friends
- I can't be a good girl for you, sayang
- I'm not a smart student
- I'm not a 'solehah' daughter
- I'm not a good servant for my Lord Allah swt
- etc
"When you feel all alone in this world and there's nobody to count your tears. Just remember, no matter where you are, Allah knows."
This sentence i picked from twitter makes my heart shakes . I may have so many flaws but i really should be grateful for what i have and for what i am . Alhamdulillah
Well, no one perfect i think . Every flaws that i owned maybe a strength for someone . I don't know . Maybe . No one will ever knows that except Allah swt .
I really should thank Allah for giving me the best of the best friends that i've ever wanted . Tanussa, Mas, Zol, Pokcek, Fareeda, Amir, Siti, Eqa, Ifa and etc . I'm sorry for ont being very open to my problems but thanks anyway for being with me . I really like to keep everything bottled up inside my heart . Hee but i'm that type so cannot be blamed .
*krik krik krik*
I am so out of topic !
LOVE CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUU BEBEH heehee Assalamualaikum :))
Assalamualaikum and hi :)
It's been a long time since my last post . Actually i've deleted them all . It's quite bothering to read my own posts with all those childish stuffs . Hihi by the way, this year i'm gonna be 16 . Yupp an upper in secondary school . By this time, i'm still in my old school, not so beloved SMKIP .
Well, there's so many things that i wanna share but from my prediction no one will ever try to read so to be safe, only one post to start .
Being a 16 years old girl with normal feelings normal attitude or behaviour, it is hard to cope with new subjects new teachers new life and BOY . Everything is kinda weird for me . Enough for that .
I'm now actually trying so hard to hold my tears because my sister is still awake . Dada ni dah rasa sebak sangat . Banyak hal dah berlaku dalam tahun ni walaupun 2013 baru sahaja membuka tirai . Perangai aku memang suka pendam perasaan . Malam-malam berlari masuk tandas sebab selalu tak tahan nak menangis . Aku pun sendiri tak tahu kenapa aku pelik sangat sekarang ni . Mudah menangis dan cepat terasa . Sebelum ni, akulah orang yang paling kuat . Jarang menangis kecuali masa sakit .
Tapi sekarang ni sangat berbeza . Mungkin Allah swt dah mula bukak hati aku untuk berubah ke arah kebaikan . I've been crying all night long regretting all my mistakes and sins . This is from my recent tweet :
"People often say "Past is past" but the truth is it's hard to forget your past and living the present . Because sometimes they haunt you ."
This is really true . Pernah sekali aku bermimpi benda maksiat yang aku buat dulu dan aku menangis sampai basah bantal . Selepas solat taubat memang lega tapi rasa menyesal tu tak hilang . Yang selalu aku fikir 'kenapalah aku bodoh sangat sampai larangan Allah swt pun aku langgar' . 'Bodoh bodoh bodoh' .
Tu baru maksiat, belum dosa dengan ibu bapa lagi . I'm not the type that can cuddle with my mom or my dad easily . Imma bit shy actually . Aku cakap kasar, kuat tengking dan suka marah-marah . MasyaAllah tak terhitung dosa aku . Tapi alhamdulillah sekarang ni dah kurang semua tu . Mungkin sebab amalan mengaji kot .
There's one guy i really like him . Not just ordinary like, i actually love him . We're not living near to each other . I'm in Kota Bharu and he's studying in Dungun . It's hard . Really really hard . Hard to meet and hard to talk . We're now not more than two people with memories . I totally miss how we used to skype and talk on the phone for hours . I often pray for us . Allah swt has his own reason for doing this to us . Aku redha . Mungkin bukan masanya lagi . Aku baru 16 tahun . Masih jauh perjalanan kalau Allah tak ambil nyawa aku lagi . Now, besides praying for your health and life, i always stalk your twitter and facebook . Ya, memang aku bebal dan muka tak malu . I don't really care . I love you, ruzairi :*
After all, changing from bad to good is a tough job ever . Pray for me to be a better muslim :) Semoga Allah swt kuatkan hatiku untuk tempuhi semua dugaan atas dunia ni . Assalamualaikum :))
